


No More Secrets

by Merthur4evs (Khandog)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Abduction, Friends to Lovers, Love, M/M, Magic Revealed, Magic-Users, My First Fanfic, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rescue Missions, Romance, Secret love, Soulmates, how is it not canon, should be canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6037138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khandog/pseuds/Merthur4evs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arthur is woken with the news that Merlin and Gaius have been abducted, his mind is overtaken with worry for his manservant; his secret, unrequited love. Arthur must keep a clear head if he wants to find Merlin, so that he can finally profess the love he has felt for a long time now. But when Arthur does make it to Merlin, Arthur discovers something that makes him question everything he ever thought he knew and loved about his manservant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 - Arthur

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I've never done this before! My love for Merlin has recently been rekindled and so I've spent lots of time reading other people's fics, until it got to the point where I thought I'd have a crack at one of my own! 
> 
> 2018 -  
> I had orginally planned for it to be longer but I got the first 7 chapters out of my system and then I didn't feel the same need to write the other 7. When I read it back now I think it actually ties up quite nicely at the point I left it, so I've decided to just leave it there rather than force out the rest.

It was a loud, urgent banging that awoke Arthur. He had been pulled from the depths of his sleep and consequently felt rather groggy because of it. He has no time to dwell on this however, as then the strong voice of Leon, his second in command, rang out.

“Sire, do we have permission to enter?”

To anyone else, Leon sounded calm but forceful. But Arthur, he could detect the slight panic that encroached on his request. Arthur at once permitted the request, his head slightly clearing at the thought that there must be something terribly wrong in order for Leon to lose any of the cool façade he usually upholds with ease. He sat up and rubbed his cheeks with the palm of his hand as he watched Leon march over to the bed, his face full of the concern that had only slightly touched his voice.

“Leon, you’re worrying me, what has happened that has made you so serious?”

It was clear to Arthur that the speech that came next had been rehearsed on the way to the King’s chambers, in an effort to make sure it was not full of the feeling Leon felt, and that he knew his King was about to feel even more so.

“Sire, one of the guards was feeling ill this morning and was sent to see Gaius for a remedy. When he reached Gaius’s chambers the door was already open, and upon entering he found the place to have been torn apart. Papers and bottles were all over the floor and the workbenches had been upended.”

At this point Leon took a breath, nervous to continue due to the alarmed and uncertain look that had already taken over his King’s face. Arthur had not interrupted by this point so Leon spurred on.

“He continued carefully into the chamber looking for any culprit that may have caused such disruption, but found none. The chambers were also absent of Gaius and Merlin, and as of yet our searches of the castle have been fruitless. I’m afraid, Sire, that it looks as though they have been taken”.

The final words to leave Leon’s lips hung in the air with the weight of what they meant to Arthur. His mind had frozen on the only important information that has just been divulged; _someone had taken Merlin_.

Arthur’s mind began to swim, trying to focus on what needed to be done rather than where Merlin might be now or what might be happening to him. Arthur closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind from thoughts such as the latter; they were not going to help bring Merlin home.

“Sire?”

Arthur’s eyes snapped open as though he had forgotten that Leon was standing in front of him. He had regained some control over his mind now; he trusted himself to speak the strategic words of a King rather than the worrisome words that had initially addled his brain.

“Sir Leon, make sure Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, and Elyan are awoken as soon as possible. They are to be informed of the situation and they are to prepare to leave in pursuit at once. You and I will have our things packed as quickly as possible and then inspect Gaius’s chambers together before leaving, to see if there is any clue as to who may have done this, and how. You are likely to be ready before me as I must dress, so please do not wait for me to start your search”.

Leon seemed to release a slight bit of tension from his shoulders after Arthur had finished his orders; as though he was relieved that Arthur had able to be rational about the situation rather than fly off the handle. If telling the truth, Arthur was slightly surprised at himself as well. This was followed by a swift nod to confirm the plan of action, and then Leon set to put it in place by turning on his heel and striding quickly out of Arthur’s chambers.

Arthur was left alone in his room. He flopped back against the bed and allowed himself to briefly feel the emotions he had just supressed when told of Merlin’s disappearance. The knights (and many others within Camelot) knew of Arthur’s closeness to Merlin; he had been Arthur’s manservant for many years now and they were always together so of course they must be close. Friends, even. And Arthur knew that this is how his knights felt about Merlin as well; they were always protective of him when on missions and he had seen the banter between them when in safer environments such as Camelot.

But what no one apart from Arthur knew was that Arthur didn’t just have feelings of friendship towards Merlin; it was in fact deeper feelings that the King had now come to accept that he had for his manservant, not that he ever made this known to anyone. He continued to treat Merlin in the exact same way as he has always done, but for a long time now had accepted that his eyes may linger on Merlin’s cheekbones for a moment too long, or that he may feel an avoidable warmth when Merlin helped him dress. He had come to accept that he may always feel this way for his manservant, even though sometimes it bordered on painful, because the only other solution Arthur could see was that Merlin was no longer his manservant, and that thought wasn’t even imaginable in Arthur’s mind.

Arthur snapped back into the present, reminding himself that lying here was not going to bring Merlin home. He leapt off the bed and rushed around his chambers, gathering everything he would need for the trip into a pile on his bed. As he did so, he promised himself that _when_ he found Merlin (because there was no possibility of _if_ ), he would tell him of his feelings, because currently the thought of never being able to make it known to Merlin was tearing Arthur apart.


	2. Chapter 2 - Arthur

They had been riding for 2 hours now, and had put a greater distance between themselves and Camelot than they normally would in this timeframe, due to Arthur’s unwavering speed. The knights struggled to keep up at times but did not think it worth the risk to mention slowing down to Arthur. The determination on his face spurred them on, as well as the hope that soon they would need to slow in order to check for tracks.

The search in Gaius’s chambers had done nothing towards helping them figure out who had abducted the Court Physician and his apprentice, but it had left Arthur with an ache in his chest upon discovering that Merlin’s small room had also been upturned. The limited possessions that his manservant had were displaced all around, although Arthur’s lips did tug upward ever so slightly when the thought that Merlin could have very well left his own room in this state crossed his mind.

Nearly all of Arthur’s energy during the ride so far had been put into keeping rational thoughts in his head. Like how they were going to find Merlin and Gaius, and what they were going to do when they did. He knew his actions were betraying him though; he knew they were riding too hard, he knew they would need to rest the horses soon, he knew that he may be missing tracks due to the speed at which they were travelling. But the irrational part of Arthur felt like he had to keep this speed, like that meant he would get to Merlin quicker.

Eventually sanity reined triumphant, and Arthur slowed to a trot. The knights breathed a collective sigh of relief and followed suit.

“There is a clearing with a stream not far ahead, we will let the horses rest for a short time.”

“Eugh finally”, Gwaine exhaled, swaying his hair out of his face so that it didn’t stick to the beads of sweat resting there. “No offence Princess, but that insane pace has left me with a sore arse, and at the minute we’re not even sure if we’re heading in the right direction”.

The other knights shifted uncomfortably on their saddles, as they often did when Gwaine said what was on his mind. Arthur didn’t appear to react to the comment; he carried on facing forward so that the knights couldn’t see the look on his face that would have shown his reluctant agreement with Gwaine.

They reached the clearing that Arthur had in mind, and all gladly swung off their horses and began to move in various ways that would help relieve some of the pain that had accumulated from sitting on horseback for so long. The knights congregated around the stream, taking sips and slipping into a discussion of how they would rather it was ale flowing freely in front of them.

Arthur did not join the group, instead taking sips from his animal skin while perched upon a rock. Eventually Gwaine noticed the solitary figure, and silently went to sit and join him. They sat together for a while, before Gwaine mustered up the right words to say in this situation.

“We’re all worried about them you know. Merlin has been a good friend to all of us over the time we have known him, and Gaius doesn’t deserve treatment like this at his age. But we need to think carefully Arthur, there’s no point charging through the forest if we don’t actually know where we’re going. We may end up wasting time and we all want to get to them both as soon as possible”.

Arthur listened to Gwaine’s attempt to make up for his earlier outburst with no acknowledgement. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Gwaine for fear that the look in his eyes would give away his real feelings towards Merlin. Although at present he would have climbed the tallest tree and screamed it across the whole kingdom if it had meant he could have Merlin back.

Arthur composed himself and chose his next words very carefully.

“I know you all care for them both as I do. I suppose I feel responsible since I am their King and they have been taken from my kingdom, and I know I owe them both huge debts when considering how they have saved my life countless times”.

Arthur could say no more, for fear that the sting in his eyes was about to give him away. He turned away from Gwaine, and that is when he noticed the line of cloaked figures who stood at the edge of the clearing.

Arthur stood instantly and withdrew his sword, closely followed by Gwaine who had followed his eyeline and also noticed the mysterious people stood watching them. Arthur carefully advanced upon the figures, holding his sword out in front of him in a protective rather than aggressive way. He got within 10 feet of them before asking,

“Who are you and what is your business here?”

Upon this address, one member of the group stood forward. They lowered their hood, revealing a middle-aged man with shoulder-length, greying hair.

“Lower your sword, Arthur Pendragon, for we come in peace with an offering of information towards your quest”.

Now that Arthur was close enough to properly look at the people lined up before him, he recognised them as Druids. He knew the Druids were a peaceful people, and had seen that first-hand on many occasions, so lowered his sword to his side as requested. His brain then caught up with the last thing the Druid man had said.

“What do you mean? What do you know of our current mission?”

Although Arthur put much effort into making this sound calm and even, he knew there was a touch too much hopefulness in the question he had just asked.

“We know you are searching for your manservant and his mentor. We know who has taken them and where they have been taken to”.

Arthur’s body lurched involuntarily forward at this declaration, like it couldn’t wait to hear the rest of the information that the Druid’s evidently possessed.

“I will forever be in your debt if you can share this information”, was all Arthur could squeeze out in the calmest voice he could collect.

“There is no debt to be paid for this information, Once and Future King, for the importance of the boy in your quest to build Albion holds more importance than anything else we could request of you. Merlin must stand by you in the building of this great nation, and so it is an honour that we are able to help you achieve this in some way”.

These words that came from the Druid made Arthur feel rather strange, but the feeling was soon pushed downwards by the anticipation that he would soon know where to find Merlin.

“The boy and his mentor were taken by allies of Morgana. They have taken the pair to a long-forgotten castle that rests in the hillsides of the Hameling forest, no more than a day’s ride from here”.

Arthur’s breathe hitched at the mention of his delinquent sister, and an anger unlike anything he had felt before rose within him. How could she do this to two people who she used to consider as close friends?

Arthur regained control of his thoughts, pushing away the murderous thoughts he had towards his sister for the time being.

“While you may wish for no reward, I am eternally grateful that you have shared this information with us. Please know that if a time should ever come where you require assistance, Camelot’s gates are open to you”.

The middle-aged man looked at Arthur intently, bowed his head so that his greying hair flopped over his eyes, and stood again to look at the King.

“Until we meet again, Arthur Pendragon”.

The line of Druid people simultaneously turned, disappearing into the forest from where they must have came.

Once the last Druid had disappeared, the King and his knights, who were now all grouped behind him, spurred into action. They gathered their belongings as quickly as humanly possible, mounted their horses, and set off for the derelict place that the Druid man had revealed to them.

As they rode with a potentially even quicker pace than before, Arthur let a small smile cross his face. _I’m coming Merlin_.


	3. Chapter 3 - Arthur

The abandoned castle that sat high in the hills was reached by the King and his men the following afternoon. Not long after leaving the clearing the light had begun to fade, and even Arthur had to accept defeat to the darkness once he could no longer see the head of his own horse through the black night.

They had set up camp quickly, each working on the assumption that the sooner they slept, the sooner they would rise, and the sooner they would reach the castle. All apart from Arthur had managed to get some rest through the night; this showing in each of their faces in the morning. Arthur looked haggard, speaking with few words between packing the camp and arriving at the foot of the hillside which concealed the castle.

Due to the steep incline, the men had been forced to leave their horses at the bottom, completing the remainder of the journey on foot. This allowed them more opportunity to creep up to the castle undetected, and discuss what they would do once they reached it.

Not knowing the layout of the castle at all, the plan was simple. Find Merlin and Gaius, kill anyone who crossed their path. They assumed that there would not be many guards around the castle, as since it was such an effort to reach the gates anyway, having too many guards seemed redundant.

The killing came sooner than expected, as from the top of a slightly dilapidated battlement shot an arrow that only missed Elyan’s torso by a fraction. Percival, now stood on the edge of the drawbridge slightly ahead of the others, quickly retrieved the crossbow from his back and fired 3 mortal shots at the guards above.

Arthur came to pass him, patting him on the shoulder as he advanced upon the castle entrance. The knights took up the positions that they were used to holding around Arthur, knowing that their priority had to be to protect their King, no matter what they encountered within the castle walls.

After pausing in the entrance way to take in their surroundings, Arthur motioned for the knights to follow him down a corridor on the left. His knowledge of the many castles he had entered was suggesting that this would be the way to the dungeons, which seemed the first place that should be checked for the castle’s prisoners.

Arthur’s instincts had led him well; the party came to some steps that descended deeply under the castle, and were kept alight by torches that lined the walls. Arthur motioned to Lancelot to take the torch that was closest to them, and they began their silent descent down the stone staircase. 

Before reaching the bottom, Arthur motioned for the knights to halt so that he had time to peer around the corner to what was waiting for them. All Arthur saw were 4 guards, who seemed completely unsuspecting that they were about to be attacked. Arthur made a gesture to the knights that they immediately understood; it referred to one of the many forms of planned attack that they practised to perfection in their training sessions. Arthur did not need to do any more than this; he knew his knights would handle this encounter without breaking a sweat. What was currently making Arthur sweat however was the thought that he may have been about to set eyes on his Merlin again.

Calming his mind from this stirring thought, Arthur finally gave the signal which meant attack. The King and his knights leapt down the remainder of the stone steps, and it became quickly apparent to Arthur that he had judged this situation faultlessly. Within less than a minute the guards who had been dozing in front of the cells had been felled.

“Who’s there?”

It was a small voice that came from the darkened cell, punctured with age and pain. Elyan reached down to one of the guards to remove the set of keys on his belt, the rest of the party slowly moved towards the door of the cell.

Lancelot came to the front of the group so that the light from the torch was cast into the cell. In the corner, a figure came to the attention of the men as an arm moved to shield their face from the seemingly bright light. Elyan opened the door and Arthur strode across the cell to kneel in front of his lifelong council, Gaius.

Carefully, Arthur moved Gaius’s arm down from his face.

“It’s okay Gaius, you’re safe now. It’s Arthur”.

Gaius’s eyes dared to look up at this statement, meeting the clear blue eyes of the King he had known since his birth.

“Arthur”, he repeated, as though his mind did not believe what his eyes were showing him. “Thank the heavens, I had begun to give up all hope”.

“Where’s Merlin?”

Arthur couldn’t keep the question from leaving his lips any longer. He was already fighting to keep the pain of not finding Merlin in this cell also from his face.

The hope that had begun to spread across Gaius’s filthy, thinning face vanished quickly into a solemn gaze that Arthur had seen upon the Court Physician’s face many times before. The look made Arthur’s heart tighten in such a ferocious way that he stopped breathing all together.

“Morgana has him in the throne room of this castle.”

This information was enough to make Arthur attempt to turn and run out of the dungeons in pursuit, but Gaius used all the strength he had to grip Arthur’s wrist in an urgent manner. Arthur turned his gaze to meet Gaius’s once again, this time questioning the old man as to why he was stopping him.

“Arthur, you have to understand, he’s only ever done it for you, to protect you. Please don’t think badly of him. He was born with it, he knows no other life”.

Gaius trailed off towards the end of this declaration, finding that he had used up the remainder of his energy. His head swayed and Percival leaned close so that the old man may rest upon him.

Arthur was baffled by Gaius’s outpouring, but put it down to the delusional ramblings of an aged man who had been through a hugely traumatic event.

“Right, Percival, you will take Gaius away from this godforsaken place. Take Lancelot and Elyan with you for while you are carrying Gaius you will be unable to swing a sword should the need arise. Once you reach the base of the hills, take your horses and ride back to Camelot immediately; Gaius needs to rest and be cared for as soon as possible. Leon and Gwaine, you will come with me to find Merlin”.

Arthur managed to give these orders with only a small waiver of emotion in his voice, which came upon uttering the name of his manservant.

Arthur nodded to the knights he had ordered to care for Gaius, then swung round and marched quickly out of the cell, flanked by Leon and Gwaine. They ascended into the corridor of the castle, keeping their ears open for the sound of any guards who may discover their location.

Arthur relied on his gut once again to guide him in the direction of the throne room, at points struggling to pass through areas of the corridor that appeared to have been blown apart with some force. Eventually they could see a large doorway up ahead in the corridor, watched over by a guard on each side. Arthur signalled to the men that Gwaine would create a diversion which would allow Arthur and Leon to attack the guards unawares.

Gwaine quietly entered the main part of the corridor, cleared his voice to get the guards attention, and waved with a smirk upon his face. The guards leapt into action, flying forward with their swords raised. As they nearly reached Gwaine, hands flew out from both sides of the corridor and grabbed the unsuspecting guards.

Once the guards had been quietly dealt with, the three men carefully made their way towards the large, closed doorway. Pressing an ear to the wood, Arthur found that it appeared to be silent on the other side of the door.

Arthur pushed any hesitancy he felt for entering this room aside, knowing that someone must be in there in order for the room to be guarded. The thought of seeing Merlin again was all the encouragement Arthur needed to slowly open the door.


	4. Chapter 4 - Arthur

Arthur was not in any way prepared for the sight that was laid out before his eyes. The throne room was as decrepit as the rest of the castle, but had a colder and more unwelcoming feel to it. The long and narrow room was empty of furniture, empty of anything in fact, apart from two figures who were at the other end of the room from where Arthur and his knights now stood.

What held Arthur’s attention more than anything else in the room was one of the figures, who appeared to be tied to a post of sorts in the middle of the room. The body of this person looked lifeless, the head hanging so low that the chin rested upon the chest, and the hair messily covering any facial features that could have been seen from where he stood. But Arthur knew who this was. He knew from the clothes the man was wearing, and the neckerchief that was just visible under his chin. He knew from the dark shade of the hair that fell over the chiselled face and the ears that slightly stuck out from underneath this mop. He knew purely from the fact that his heart was now doing somersaults from the sight in front of him. _Merlin._

There were two reasons why Arthur didn’t charge forward and free Merlin the very second he laid eyes on him. One was the other figure in the room. Morgana had her back to Arthur, Leon and Gwaine, and the door had been opened quietly so she remained unaware that she now had an audience.

The second was the main reason why Arthur hadn’t moved yet; he was rooted to the spot in shock and confusion. Morgana had her hands raised towards Merlin, and between them appeared to be thin strands of, well Arthur wasn’t sure. All he could tell was that it glowed between the pair, casting light on Merlin and Morgana. The colours that shone over them were different however; the threads that touched Merlin were a colour as golden as the sun itself, while by the time they reached Morgana they had turned a deathly shade of blue. The strands of colour seemed to be alive, and they appeared to be ebbing away from Merlin towards Morgana.

It was this final observation that urged Arthur into action; it seemed to him that these strands flowing away from Merlin were his life, and Arthur could not stand for a second longer to see this taken from his love.

“What are you doing Morgana?”

Arthur didn’t exactly know how to go about this situation; he would have been unable to reach Morgana before her being aware of his presence and he knew that the power she possessed would be enough to kill him instantly if she thought she were under threat.

Her head snapped round at hearing Arthur’s voice, shock covering her face as she realised she wasn’t alone. It then twisted into an evil smile that actually made the hairs on the back of Arthur’s neck stand up.

 “Hello dear brother. I had been wondering if you would show up to come and collect your puppy”.

Morgana's smirk turned into a laugh that was so cold he felt the shiver of his knights behind him.

“What are you doing to him?” Arthur asked, as he took small, unnoticeable steps towards Morgana, closing the space between them very gradually.

Morgana looked thoughtful for a moment, then a look of pure delight washed over her face, which was actually more unnerving than her menacing smile.

“Why of course dear brother, I forget you do not know. How sad to think this boy who you have trusted for so many years has been lying to you all that time. Is it not yet clear to you what secret he has been keeping from you?”

Arthur was completely lost. He had no idea what Morgana was getting at; of course he knew everything about Merlin, well everything he needed to know anyway. They had known each other for so long and become so close that he was sure that he knew all of Merlin and that Merlin knew everything about him. Much more than a servant should know about their King, anyway.

The lack of understanding must have been clear on Arthur’s face, and Morgana found this so entertaining that her head actually rolled back during her outburst of laughter.

“Oh Arthur, I knew you were stupid, but really? Can you not see what is happening here?”

Morgana used her head to gesture towards her outstretched hands and the threads that currently connected her to Merlin.

“Merlin has been lying to you for the entire time he has known you. He lied to me while I still considered him a friend, he has lied to nearly everyone he has ever known! Merlin has _magic_ ”.

There was silence in the air as Morgana waited for the realisation of this truth to hit Arthur.

Arthur’s head was spinning. He was torn between laughing in Morgana’s face at even the thought of his clumsy manservant possessing such power, and the shock that Merlin could have lied to Arthur’s face for all these years.

“You’re wrong”, was all he managed to say, attempting to sound strong and defiant, but failing on both accounts.

Morgana’s smile seemed to spread across her face after hearing the uncertainty in her brother’s voice. It greatly pleased her to see his perfect little world falling apart around him.

“Don’t be ridiculous Arthur, look! What do you think it is that I am doing here? I am taking Merlin’s power. The great Emrys, as he is known to others, is considered to be magic itself, and so I am taking that power for myself. If he really is magic itself, then once I have finished taking his power, there will be nothing left but an empty, lifeless vessel for you to take back to Camelot”.

These final words, coupled with the sneer which Morgana had delivered them with, were enough to make Arthur completely lose control. He threw himself at Morgana with a scream that made Morgana’s face drop, and the sudden outburst appeared to take her by surprise as Arthur dragged her to the floor. In doing so, Morgana’s connection to Merlin was broken.

Arthur hadn’t handled his outpouring of anger well; he now lay winded on the floor, his sword thrown from him, looking at Morgana who had recovered herself quicker than he and was returning to a standing position. The look of hatred that covered her face as she stood over him was enough to make Arthur’s brain stop working. His only thoughts were of Merlin, and he hoped that while Morgana was enjoying ending her brother’s life, his two best knights would be working to free Merlin and take him far from this place. He became aware of their movements to his right at this point, but so did Morgana. With a flick of her wrist she held the knights in the air, who appeared to be being suspended by their throats.

Arthur’s despair was clear on his face. He had let Merlin and two of his most trusted friends down through his lack of control over his feelings. Having come to terms with his seemingly unavoidable fate, Arthur let his eyes rest on a point past Morgana, on Merlin. Arthur wanted his last thoughts and images to be of the man he so desperately loved, and he silently told Merlin all the things he had hoped to tell him if they had made it back to Camelot alive.

Morgana was still poised over Arthur, and although he was vaguely aware she was speaking, he had no idea what about. Arthur’s eyes and thoughts were solely on Merlin. How he hoped he was still alive and could find a way to get away from Morgana. How he didn’t believe the things Morgana was telling him because he would never believe that Merlin would keep something so important from him. How – Arthur’s mind froze before he could think of anything else. The reason for this was because a pair of heavily-lidded eyes were now staring back at him from across the room.

Arthur didn’t dare move for fear that this sight would suddenly disappear. The sight of the relief on Merlin’s face once he had found Arthur’s eyes, and then the look of terror that replaced it as Morgana raised Arthur’s own sword above him, apparently having decided that the time for words was over.

Arthur eyes now returned to Morgana, his face doing his best to display a powerful look. Arthur saw the sword arch downwards, and he closed his eyes.

“Arthur!”

He opened his eyes again at the sound of his name, totally unprepared to hear the voice of his manservant again in this life. As he opened them he felt a blast of warm energy near him, and was just in time to see Morgana thrown across the room with vicious force. She cracked against the wall as she hit it and then flopped to the floor, creating a shape on the stone that should not be created by a human body.

The sight was too much for Arthur; he returned his gaze to his Merlin, whose head was now raised and one arm outstretched in front of him towards the pile that was Morgana. Against the darkness of the room and the grey hue that Merlin’s skin currently had, Arthur could not mistake the fact that Merlin’s eyes were glowing _golden_. Another second passed, and Merlin’s head and hand fell suddenly, returning to the lifeless position he had been in before.

Arthur’s eyes then looked to his knights, and it became clear from their expressions that they too had seen Merlin in his changed state. Arthur scrambled to his feet and over to the knights to make sure they were okay. Upon confirmation of this, he then turned his attention to his manservant, who had made no more movements after apparently slipping into an unconscious state. Arthur collected his sword and made his way to Merlin. He cut the ropes that were holding Merlin in place, enveloping him in his arms as he fell away from the post.

Arthur took in the sight of Merlin in his arms, and then pressed his face close to Merlin’s, to check if he was breathing if the knights were to enquire why. He felt a shallow breath upon his cheek. This being all the evidence of life that Arthur currently needed, he hauled Merlin over his shoulder and made for the door of the throne room. His knights hovered towards the edge of the room with uncertainty as Arthur strode past them. After taking in their faces, he paused and turned to them.

“You will not breathe a word of what you saw to anyone. Now come, we must return to Camelot as soon as possible”.


	5. Chapter 5 - Merlin

Unearthly was the only word Merlin could use to describe how he felt as he drifted from tranquil sleep into horrendous consciousness. He hadn’t even opened his eyes but already the brightness in the room was an assault on his senses. How had he come to feel this way? He would have had to drink the tavern dry of ale to have made him feel like this.

Merlin realised that he actually wasn’t sure how he had come to feel this way, or in fact what had even happened the day before at all. The dull pain he felt all over in addition to the stabbing pain in his head was making it very difficult to bring any memories of recent events to the surface. Instead he attempted to use all the senses but his eyes, which he was not yet willing to open, to work out where he was.

Once he thought about it, it was actually quite clear. The firm bed beneath him and the scratchy sheets above placed him in his own room in Camelot. His ears helped him to gauge that Gaius was in the next room, and the mild scent that had made its way to his room suggested that Gaius was busy at work preparing various tonics for the people of Camelot.

“Gaius”, was all Merlin could manage, so feebly he doubted whether his mentor would have even been able to hear him, given his age.

This was enough however, as Merlin then heard something clatter onto a desk and hurried feet which made their way to his room. He heard the door swing open, and then felt the presence of someone next to him on his left side.

“Merlin my boy! How are you feeling?” While Merlin was still not ready to see the pure joy on his father-figure’s face, he could hear it in his voice.

“Head, exploding”.

A small chuckle escaped Gaius’s lips, and Merlin felt him leave his side. His ears followed Gaius into the next room, and listened as he clinked different bottles together until he found what he was looking for and returned to Merlin. He felt the edge of the bottle touched to his lips, so he raised his head slightly and gulped down whatever hideous concoction Gaius knew would ease his pain. The relief was instant, and Merlin had never been so appreciative of his mentor’s skills as a physician.

Merlin dared to open his eyes, feeling a wave of happiness glide over him now that he could actually see Gaius. Merlin pulled him down into a hug and felt relief rush all over his body now that he knew he was safe. Wait – safe? What did Gaius need to be safe from?

Merlin lay back down, confused as to why the issue of Gaius’s safety had even crossed into his head.

“Gaius, what happened to me? I don’t really remember anything, but I have a feeling you were in danger?”

Gaius’s face changed slowly from delight to uncertainty. Merlin could tell that Gaius was hesitant about sharing the details of however Merlin had come to be in this state.

“You remember nothing? I’d better start at the beginning then. More than a week ago now, we were taken from Camelot with magical force that even you were unable to resist Merlin. We were taken to an abandoned castle somewhere, and Morgana was behind the abduction. We were separated; I taken into the dungeons… and you were tied up, still unable to use your magic. Morgana had found a way to transfer magic from one being to another, and that is what she was had planned for you. She nearly succeeded in taking it from you as well. It Arthur hadn’t shown up-“.

“Arthur?! Arthur saw Morgana taking my magic from me?!”

All of Merlin’s worst nightmares flashed before his eyes – Arthur rejecting him once he found out about his power, being banished from Camelot, or worst of all, being killed by Arthur’s hand because of it.

Gaius had stayed quiet while these thoughts ran through Merlin’s mind. Through his stinging eyes, Merlin returned his gaze to that of his now-pitying mentor.

“Gaius, what did Arthur see?”

“He has not been very forthcoming with that information, my boy. He has not discussed the matter with me or the knights as far as I can tell. He has spent most of the time since your return in his chambers alone. But I do believe he must now know about your magic Merlin”.

Merlin’s mind glazed over at this final statement. He couldn’t believe that after all this time, Arthur had found out about his magic in probably the worst way imaginable. Merlin had always hoped that he would be able to tell Arthur about it one day, when the time was right. But now that chance had been taken from him, and Merlin was deeply mourning his loss.

“I know this must not be the way you wanted Arthur to learn of your magic Merlin, but I believe that the King is trying to come to terms with this new information. For one, he could have left you for dead where he found you, but instead he rushed you back to Camelot so you could be cared for. And since you have returned, these chambers and the training field are the only two places Arthur seems to have visited. He has been once a day for the 5 days in which your body has been healing it’s magic, and the rest of the time various knights have been sent to monitor your condition, multiple times a day. He cares for you Merlin, you have been a good friend to him for many years and Arthur will not be quick to forget that”.

The fact that Arthur obviously didn’t want Merlin dead (yet) was a small comfort to him, but he still felt hollow upon receiving all of this information. Gaius could see the pain on Merlin’s face, and so decided to leave him with his thoughts, telling him as he left to make sure he gets some rest at least.

Merlin waited until the door to his room was closed before letting out a sob into his pillow. Merlin appreciated Gaius trying to ease his pain, but unfortunately Gaius had no idea of the depth of the pain that Merlin was currently feeling. He felt pure anguish over his lying to Arthur now being known, not just because Merlin had ruined the trust in their friendship, but because for a long time now Merlin has felt something much stronger for Arthur than friendship. With his lies now known, Arthur would surely fire Merlin from his duties as manservant at the very least, and the thought of not being close to Arthur all day every day was what was tearing Merlin apart.

Merlin thought he would rather be killed for possessing magic than be apart from Arthur. He loved him more than he knew it was possible to love another person, and while he knew that nothing could ever come of it, being able to be close to Arthur and look after and protect him was enough to ease some of Merlin’s pain. If Merlin didn’t have that…

Merlin cried tears into his pillow until his room started to darken as night came. By this time a new wave of bodily pain and tiredness had come, and so Merlin fell into a restless sleep.  


	6. Chapter 6 - Arthur

Arthur was getting sick of staring at the four walls of his chambers; largely because they were not the same with Merlin absent from them. Arthur had rode into Camelot with Merlin in his arms 5 days ago now, and still Merlin showed no signs of consciousness. He was beginning to panic that the ordeal provided by Morgana had been too traumatic for his manservant. The idea of this pained him; knowing that they may never speak again, and his last time seeing Merlin was in the distressed, unconscious stupor in which he now lay.

But then, what would Arthur say if he did wake up? This is the question that had made sure that all of Arthur’s nights since returning to Camelot had been sleepless.

In a way, Arthur felt completely heartbroken. The events that occurred while rescuing Merlin and Gaius had left no doubt in Arthur’s mind, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t so, that Merlin had magic. What Arthur couldn’t get over is _why hadn’t Merlin told him_? How had he managed to keep this secret for so long, and why had he felt the need to? How could he have not trusted Arthur with this secret when Arthur trusted Merlin with his heart, and his life? Surely Merlin didn’t think that Arthur would hurt him?

This last thought stumped Arthur, as it dawned on him that he didn’t know what he would have done if Merlin had told him. It makes sense that Merlin kept it secret while his father was alive; Arthur’s opinion on the subject would have had absolutely no bearing if Uther had discovered Merlin’s magic. But his father had been gone a while now; had Arthur really given off enough of a hateful impression towards magic that Merlin also lived in fear of him as he would have Uther?

Arthur had been pacing his chambers while these thoughts all spiralled through his mind. The despair he was now feeling upon the thought of Merlin fearing him led him to flop unceremoniously onto his bed. But surely if Merlin was scared of Arthur finding out then he would have left Camelot? Trust Merlin to situate himself in the most dangerous place he could be in all of the 5 kingdoms.

This thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. Arthur sighed to himself at the thought of having to converse with anyone of any matters of importance; he didn’t think he had it in him right now.

“Enter”, Arthur drawled, rubbing his face forcefully, as though he was trying to rub away any thoughts of Merlin.

The door opened, revealing Gwaine in his armour. He strode in with his general level of cockiness and shut the door behind him.

“Your Majesty, we missed you at training this afternoon”.

“Yes well, I haven’t been feeling all that well”.

“Well I have some news that may make you feel better; Merlin is awake”.

Arthur was propped up by an elbow on his bed, picking at any loose threads on his bedding, but his eyes snapped up to meet Gwaine’s at this new information. A small smile tugged at Gwaine’s lips.

“How – how is he?” Arthur managed, coughing after his first attempt at the sentence to rid his voice of all the emotions he was feeling.

“Well if I’m honest, he’s not in a good way. Gaius says he didn’t remember anything about the abduction, and though he is now awake he is in a lot pain... Gaius expects him to make a full recovery though, in time”.

Gwaine seemed to hasten the last sentence, probably because of the grimace that filled Arthur’s face at the thought of Merlin being in so much pain.

“I know you told us not to mention it, but surely we need to talk about Merlin’s magic”.

Arthur’s eyes popped at the casualness of Gwaine’s voice. He was now leaning up against the long table with his arms folded across his chest, looking like he was about to discuss the weather rather than an act of criminality.

“How can you be so calm about this? _Merlin has magic_. He has lied to us for as long as he has known us about something that is against the law, and you’re acting like it’s nothing of importance! Magic is evil, and he has been at the heart of Camelot possessing this ability for years now… Who knows what he could have done to us at any point!”

Arthur’s chest heaved in anger, anxiousness, and heartbreak, after finishing his emotional surge of words to Gwaine. He had not expected to do this; he was as surprised as Gwaine’s face showed him to be.

The shock on Gwaine’s face was replaced with a smile.

“But Arthur, _you’re still here_. All of the thousands of opportunities that Merlin must have had in the past to kill you, and yet here you stand. In fact, I would put money on Merlin having _saved_ your life time after time, rather than trying to take it. Judging from the power that Morgana seemed to suggest he had, I think he could have brought this Kingdom to its knees at any time he liked, but he hasn’t. Merlin is the most loyal and trustworthy person I know, and I know you know deep down that he would never hurt you. If I know Merlin, I would say that in some twisted way he thought he was protecting you by keeping his magic a secret. From what Gaius said in the dungeon, Merlin didn’t choose this life for himself, he was born with it. By admonishing all magic as evil, you are in association saying that Merlin was born with evil in him, and we both know that is a load of rubbish”.

Arthur let Gwaine’s words wash over him, subconsciously needing someone to confirm that he didn’t need to hate Merlin by default for possessing magic. Everything Gwaine had said made sense; he never truly believed that Merlin would ever use his magic for evil, or to try hurt him. Even though Merlin did not feel love for Arthur in the way he felt it for Merlin, Arthur knew deep down that Merlin would always be loyal to him, as he has been since they have known each other.

“But magic is still against the law, Merlin is committing a crime”.

“For the love of all that is holy Arthur, you are the _King_ , you make the law!” Gwaine’s voice rang with disbelief for how dense his King was currently being.

Arthur’s face shifted from shock towards Gwaine’s outburst, to the realisation that he was right. He _was_ the King now, and he could change the law about magic if he saw fit. And why shouldn’t he? Merlin was enough proof to him that despite being told the opposite for his entire life, not _all_ magic can be evil.

“I need to go and see Merlin don’t I?”

“Now you’re getting it, Princess!”


	7. Chapter 7 - Merlin

Merlin startled at the sound of the door to Gaius’s chambers swinging open. He had been lost in thought of the past few days, running through Gaius’s version of events since Merlin could still not remember it. Gaius had forbidden Merlin to get out of bed, and so Merlin had spent days left alone with these thoughts, briefly being interrupted at points in the day by Gaius, and sometimes the knights who were more like his friends.

Now Merlin was back in the present, he acknowledged his stomach growling like a vicious animal about to pounce upon its prey.

“Gaius, I don’t feel so sick anymore so can I pleeeease eat something? I’m so hungry I could eat a pair of Arthur’s dirty socks!” Merlin shouted, to make sure he didn’t need to repeat the sentiment to the aged man.

The door to Merlin’s room opened slowly, and Merlin started in his bed when a golden mop of hair attached to the most gorgeous head in Camelot appeared from behind the wood.

“Sorry Merlin, I have no food for you, or dirty socks; George would never allow such a travesty while he is fulfilling your duties”.

His King grinned, obviously finding his quip rather amusing, and Merlin couldn’t help but return the smile even though a huge knot had tightened in his chest. He suddenly had started to feel sick again. Arthur seemed to feel Merlin’s tension, because the smile that had lightened his face seemed to disappear as quickly as it has appeared.

“Can I come in?” Arthur asked rather shyly.

“Of course, my lord” Merlin replied, trying to keep his voice calm and level, but failing spectacularly.

Arthur turned in order to close the door behind him, and Merlin observed that he seemed to linger ever so slightly while facing the door, as though composing himself for whatever was about to come next. Merlin didn’t mind this; it gave him time to do the same, as upon the sight of this man he dearly loved his mind had gone haywire over whatever Arthur had come here to say.

When Arthur turned back to face Merlin, his face was set in a hard glare that didn’t seem to be for Merlin, as Arthur avoided making eye contact with him.

“How are you now?”

“Um, I’m feeling a lot better thanks. The pain in my head and body has settled, and I don’t seem to feel as sick as I did so hopefully Gaius will let me eat now”.

Merlin gave a little chuckle at the end of this, but seeing that Arthur’s face had not changed he dropped his gaze and nervously twisted his bedsheets.

Arthur didn’t acknowledge Merlin’s response; judging from his expression Merlin doubted whether Arthur had even heard him. A long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them, making Merlin’s mouth dryer the longer it lasted. Arthur was now facing away from Merlin, as though he didn’t want to acknowledge his presence in the room at all.

“I – I, um… wanted to say thank you for coming to rescue Gaius and I… You didn’t need to do that”. Merlin felt lame after this acknowledgement, and the only sign that Arthur gave that he had even heard it was that his tall, proud posture suddenly slumped as though the weight of the world had been dropped upon him.

“Well I’m surprised you even needed saving to be honest, apparently you’ve been quite capable of looking after yourself all this time”.

Arthur’s voice was small, and Merlin thought slightly broken, but there was no question over what Arthur had said. Merlin’s heart sank; this is it, he thought. This is where I finally find out Arthur’s reaction.

“Arthur, I –“

“How could you keep this from me Merlin?” Arthur spun round to face Merlin, and Merlin was surprised by the emotion in Arthur’s face and voice. Merlin had expected a look of hatred from his King, but instead Arthur looked like his anger had been overshadowed by hurt.

“How could you stay by my side all these years and not tell me? I sort of understand while my father was alive, but why have you kept up this charade in his death? Has our friendship meant so little to you that you thought I would treat you badly, that I would hurt you?”

Arthur’s voice broke at this last question, and Merlin could not help but shed tears over the evidently broken man before him.

“Arthur please believe me, I never wanted you to find out like this. I always planned on telling you one day, when the time was right. You’re right that I couldn’t risk telling you while your father was alive; I would never have put you in the position where you would have had to choose whether to keep my secret or tell him, that wouldn’t have been fair to you. And then when you became King, you still had so many new pressures thrust upon you that I didn’t want to add to them yet. But believe me Arthur, I have only ever used it to help you and protect you. I only use it for you. My sole purpose in life is to use it for you, and I have never wavered from that. Please believe me.”

Merlin’s body shook with tears and anguish as he bared his soul to his love. Although this was the most emotional and painful conversation Merlin could remember having in his life, he still could not ignore the release of tension that he realised he had been carrying with him since his first day in Camelot.

Upon finishing this speech that came purely from his heart, Merlin looked up and met Arthur’s eyes. The piercing blue colour of them seemed to be intensified by the tears that silently threatened to spill over.

Arthur seemed to have lost all sense of propriety by the end of this speech. In a way that suggested his knees had given way, he fell to sit near the bottom of Merlin’s bed and rested a strong hand upon Merlin’s trembling knee. A force that felt electric coursed through Merlin upon this touch; it took all the control he had left in his body to not flinch at the interaction.

Arthur sat for a minute looking at his hand on Merlin’s leg, the thumb of which slowly circled on the bottom of Merlin’s thigh, as though collecting himself and his thoughts.

“Please don’t send me away”.

The whisper that seemed to fill the silent room sounded foreign on Merlin’s lips. He hadn’t even acknowledged thinking this, never mind that it may be about to leave his mouth.

Arthur’s head snapped up, and the urgency and desperation that filled the look that he gave Merlin seemed to burn a hole through him into his very soul.

“I would never. I need you in my life Merlin… However an incompetent servant you may be”. Arthur added the last quip, letting a small smile ever so slightly brighten his otherwise sad looking face.

Merlin’s heart fluttered at hearing his declaration from his King. He had come to accept that Arthur would not have him arrested for his magic, but he still thought that the King may find it too difficult to trust someone who had lied to him for so long, and so have no need for him anymore. Upon hearing this wasn’t the case, Merlin could not help the grin that washed over his features.

“But there is one thing you must promise me”.

Oh god. Arthur was gazing at Merlin intently, which only increased the rate at which Merlin’s heart was now pounding. What if he asks Merlin never to use magic again? He cannot do that, it’s a part of who he is, surely Arthur must understand that?

“And what is that?” Merlin’s voice was not at all steady, and he was sure that the flush he felt in his cheeks must have been clear to Arthur.

“I want you to promise me that you will never keep anything from me again, and I will make the same promise to you. No more secrets”.

Merlin felt instant relief at hearing this, but then a feeling of uncertainty crept upon him. It was now or never.

“Well, I suppose that I’d better tell you that I’m in love with you then. It’s ridiculous I know, you’re too much of a prat for it to seem true, but it is. I have loved you for a long time now, but for obvious reasons, like it being one-sided, and you being the King of Camelot, I know nothing will come of it. But I’ve had a long time to accept that, so it doesn’t need to change anything between us. I just thought I should let you know, to prove I’m serious about having no more secrets between us”.

Merlin was aware that is voice was very uncertain through this huge reveal, but he looked over this and carried on all the same, because really, how could he sound confident when he was telling the King of Camelot that he was in love with him?

Silence followed, and Merlin started to sweat purely from the look that had now taken over Arthur’s face. It was a look of pure shock and disbelief, and it made Merlin feel sick to think this declaration was so outrageous to Arthur’s ears, even though he knew really that it was.

“You idiot, Merlin”, was all that left Arthur’s lips before he leaned forward and pressed them to Merlin’s. It was forceful, but tender, and Merlin melted into it after the initial surprise at the contact. He leaned into Arthur and wrapped his arms around his neck, as though afraid that Arthur would pull away, or disappear altogether. Arthur had one hand on Merlin’s waist and the other cupping his cheek, and they stayed like this for a while until they needed to break apart for the sake of breathing.

Merlin, still flushed, leaned back to take in Arthur’s face and throw him a questioning look. What was going on? Arthur, whose eyes seemed to have darkened due to this show of passion, looked back affectionately with a smile playing on his lips.

“You stole my speech _Mer_ -lin. That was everything I planned on telling you after getting you to agree that we wouldn’t have secrets now, but you didn’t give me chance.”

“I – I – What?”

Arthur laughed heartily, a stupidly wide grin plastering his face.

“Well if I’d known kissing you would make you speechless I’d have done it years ago!”

Arthur continued to laugh, probably because Merlin still looked dumbstruck over what had just happened. Merlin couldn’t help but to stare at Arthur in disbelief, and started to wonder whether Arthur was laughing because he had kissed Merlin as a joke.

Arthur’s laugh subsided, probably because Merlin’s face now showed a flash of fear and uncertainty over what was happening. Arthur took Merlin’s right hand in both of his, and stared deeply into his eyes, which caused Merlin to feel very fuzzy and unsure as to why he had just been feeling upset.

“Merlin, everything you said, is what I feel. I’m not very good with words of this kind, but you summed it up perfectly. I love you Merlin. It’s been something that I have put to one side for a while now because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship through something that I never thought could happen anyway. But finding out you were gone, I promised myself that when I saw you again that I would tell you how I felt, and hope that you could look past it and continue to serve me, because I never once thought you would feel the same. And these feeling’s haven’t changed now I know about your… magic”.

Arthur’s addition of this last sentence warmed Merlin’s heart. It was as though Arthur had heard the doubts that had just started to enter Merlin’s mind about whether Arthur still felt the same now he knew about his magic.

It was Merlin’s turn to lean in for a kiss, obviously doing this in a much clumsier manner than Arthur had, which made Arthur smile against Merlin’s lips and let out a soft chuckle. They continued to kiss for what felt like an eternity to Merlin, but he still wasn’t ready to stop when Arthur finally pulled away. Merlin whined in protest, but Arthur just smiled and stroked Merlin’s face softly.

“I have to leave you now, I already postponed a council meeting to come here and speak with you. But I’ll be back to see you this evening, okay?”

“Or I could come to see you? I’m feeling much better and think I’m ready to take my responsibilities back from George”. Merlin tried not to sound too eager, but Arthur’s expression as he stood showed him that he had failed in this.

“Merlin, you will not leave this bed until I have it officially from Gaius that you are well enough to do so. I will not have you risking your health. You will just have to settle with me visiting you for now until Gaius decides you are well again”.

As Arthur finished giving these orders, he leaned down to brush Merlin’s hair away from his forehead, so that he could place a gentle kiss there instead. Merlin signed contentedly as he looked lovingly at the man above him, receiving a similar look in return.

Arthur moved to the door, taking one last look at Merlin before he exited the room.

Merlin shouted after Arthur “Make sure you bring some food back with you later. And don’t you dare try to make me eat your socks, I mean proper food”.

Merlin heard a laugh that warmed his heart before the door to Gaius’s chambers was opened and closed again, leaving Merlin alone with thoughts that were much more pleasant than before.


End file.
